You left me and I can’t compete with her. And even though you still hit me, I feel you do it cause’ in your mind you still want me back. I peep game and its ok cause’ you can have your rebound chick. You know that I know you want me back and I have no problem accepting you if your willing to forget the past and start a new.

I promised I wouldn’t let you get to me and its kind of hard when you hit me at random with the “What’s good” or “Just wanted to check on you” not in that form but somewhere in between.

We’ve had our share times of spazzing and I miss those than the good times. Know why? Because after the arguing comes sexing, and I must say, it definitely was incredible. I would purposely start shit just so I could get some of your long strokes and deep thrust and it amazed me how you fell for it every time.

I’m sitting here, listening to my Ipod of all the songs we picked for each other, and how we would talk on the phone for endless hours, and how you came to see me when you really were suppose to be working, you’d call me by my real name and not by what others knew me by and other stuff I cant really say.

Wow! What memories.

Sometimes I sit here and say, its crazy how I went through so many potentially ‘wifey’ material guys and I either was too busy, Long distance just wasn’t working or it just wasn’t working itself or the timing was way off.

Now its like those guys are married, engaged, tryna act like they in love and trying to reassure me they are but still hitting me up or just plain old stuck on stupid and cant make up their mind.

And I ask myself: Was it a mistake for letting them go? I mean they are with they’re so called “wife’s”, Girlfriends and Fiancé’s because I wasn’t ready to commit at the time or was just playing games..You know?

I Laugh at the stupid shit I’ve done and who I’ve become today and I must admit that, back then I wouldn’t have been ready and even though I was telling them that, I wasn’t and now I realize that. On maybe one or two of them, I did make a mistake and I can’t turn back. Regretful? No! Maybe a little disappointed in myself for not opening my eyes to potential. But I’m in a happy place. More than I’ve ever been since having my beautiful kids and I guess that’s what made me see that things happen for a reason. In conclusion, I might’ve found MYpotential” and I understand now.

One response »

  1. I can relate to your words on various different levels. It’s all a part of this game of life. The trials and error of falling in and out of what we call “love”. Reflecting upon the woulda, coulda, and shouldas. And just like you said, NO REGRETS! And I live by that rule. Though at the same time, we’re only human so we do sometimes look back and say DAMN!!!!!!!!!! DID I DO THAT!

    Yet, it’s all love. We’re on a journey and learning along the way. Stay strong.

    Forever Fabulous,
    The Single Dame

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