Now I know this is a touchy subject but WHO GIVES A F*CK!
That is ONE part of the body I DON’T play with.
I know its some freaky *coughs* excuse me NASTY guys out there that do those type of things and I don’t knock ‘em, but come one man.
I truly believe that if a guy tries to f*ck my asshole then he is slight funny if you know what I mean.
I know there is some part in your sex life where a man and a woman are just extra in the bedroom (You know the we’ve tried everything, sideways, out doors etc and it only leaves one hole we haven’t tried type of couple? Uh yeah, them!) But why be slick and act like you feeling for the pu**y hole but end up poking the bootyhole?
I’m pretty sure you’ve f*cked plenty of times to know where you need to insert your cock. Idiot!
It never fails. They get behind you, poke you a few times (they need to convince their dick that it’s about to reproduce and pound the shit out of you), then all of a sudden what happens? Their d*ck get drunk, side-tracked, hit in the head with a bottle, I don’t know and that’s when they tryna f*ck your asshole Chile. That’s when my ass turn around in lighten-fast-what-thee-f*ck-mode and say: nigga you done f*cked up on the grease now.
So after I walk out (get dressed before of course), get in my car, I realize that I just interrupted perfectly good sex. But his ass didn’t want to guide his member into the right direction because he didn’t get the lasik it was suppose to get and now we are both stuck on no orgasm-mode and I’m tight.
Guys always say that it’s the girls that mess it up for sex, but guess what? YOU DO TOO!
I repeat, if my ass does not say vacancy then don’t check in without a room key before asking permission.
And if letting you bang my bootyhole even crosses my mind then please slap me to re-assure that it is not what I want to do. Obviously my mind must have been tainted by an alcohol substance but I wont be that wasted where you will even get as much as a tip drill from me. Wait! I don’t even drink like that, so we good money.
Now that we’ve gotten that out the way I can go on with my sex life.