In the end, it was not the choice I wanted to make but it was the RIGHT choice to make.

 I was with you by default.

 I was too lazy to court or be courted.

 The feeling knowing I had someone who wouldn’t leave had settled me.

 Imagine being with someone new and going through the date nights and movie outings when I already have someone for that.

 Someone who isn’t going anywhere.  But how do I know that?

 I’m not showing him any affection.

 Working more than spending time with him makes me feel guilty.

 But independence has always been in my blood and depending on him to take care of me won’t do any good if he’s just there for moral when he’s not there for financial.

 The fact of the matter is: how can I be content with that when I should be pushing for attention when I feel like he’s content in our relationship now?

 Am I at fault for letting it be content or at fault for neglecting him period when it’s not intentional?

 I mean men come at me everyday but I don’t even focus my face on that fuckery anymore.

 Pussy is pussy and this pussy is confused.

 I think he should weigh his options, even if it means leaving me. Because I don’t think being content at all times will make ME stay.

 *sigh*

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